Our Trump Nightmare

On Monday, December 19, senate majority leader Mitch McConnell said of the Russian Hacking Scandal, “There’s no question that the Russians were messing around in our election.” On Tuesday, December 20, he decided there was no reason to investigate just how the Russians messed around in our election. Meanwhile, in news that doesn’t matter… There are rumors swirling that Drake and Jennifer Lopez are dating. Yeah, I didn’t care, either.Read More →

…in foreign lands. In Turkey, an 0ff-duty police officer shot and killed Andrey Karlov, the Russian ambassador to Turkey while speaking at an art exhibit in Ankara. The gunman shouted, “Do not forget Aleppo! Do not forget Syria!” Meanwhile, in Berlin, at least 12 people were killed when a large semi-truck drove into a crowd of shoppers at a Christmas market. And finally, donald trump secured his presidency when the electors met at all 5o sate capitals and officially voted him into office. Let the nightmare officially begin. Meanwhile, in news that doesn’t matter… The Internet openly wept as Rob Kardashian took to snapchat toRead More →

For the past 16 years or so, every time we get a new president, China tests them. With George W. Bush, it was by flying one of their fighters too close to one of our Navy aircraft, causing a collision, killing the Chinese pilot, and forcing the U.S. Navy to make an emergency landing in China in what has become known as the Hainan Island incident. The Navy personnel were captured by Chinese officials and held for 10 days until U.S. officials gave in to Chinese demands and apologized for colliding with the Chinese fighter jet (though officials later adamantly denied they ever apologized, andRead More →

Standing behind a green and red podium poster that read, “Merry Christmas, USA; Thank You Tour 2016”; president-elect donald trump told his fawning supporters that they were vicious and violent during the campaign, and they happily cheered to be told this, apparently forgetting that they were quite sanctimoniously outraged to have been characterized as violent during the campaign.   Meanwhile, in news that doesn’t matter… MTV has a show called Teen Mom OG, and it “stars” people in their 20s, and they are feuding. You didn’t care? Neither did anyone else.   You should also know… Trump supporters have their own, special dating site. YouRead More →

United States intelligence officials are fairly certain that the direction to hack DNC and Clinton campaign emails came from Vladimir Putin, himself. These experts stopped short of implicating him explicitly, and were clear to state that they did not have any direct evidence that he was involved. However, they claim, the sophistication of the tools used to undertake the operation indicated that there were only two possible entities in Russia that could have carried it out. President-elect trump and his supporters seem to be the only ones who think the entire story is both fake and silly. source: http://www.cnn.com/2016/12/15/politics/russian-hacking-vladimir-putin-donald-trump/index.html   Meanwhile, in news that doesn’t matter…Read More →

On Tuesday, December 13, president-elect trump’s Thank You Tour landed in Wisconsin. As trump stood on stage, forgetting that he wasn’t campaigning any longer, he eventually turned his attention to House Speaker Paul Ryan, who was standing just off-stage. During the campaign, Paul Ryan claimed that he would no longer support nor campaign for donald trump after audio tapes emerged in which trump bragged about sexually assaulting women and getting away with it because he’s famous. Paul Ryan was banking on trump losing, and hoping he could parlay his ethical stand into greater power should the GOP maintain the House of Representatives. But that’s notRead More →

“It’s three agencies of government when I get there that are gone – Commerce, Education and the um, what’s the third one there? Let’s see. Oh five – Commerce, Education and the um, um […].” This was the beginning of a quote that should have both haunted and ended Governor Rick Perry’s political career as he stood on a debate stage back in 2011 and failed to remember the third government agency he would eliminate as president. After some prodding by the moderator, Perry continued. “The third agency of government I would do away with – the education, the uh, the commerce and let’s see.” He thenRead More →

President-elect donald trump was scheduled to hold a press conference on Thursday, December 15, to discuss how he plans to handle his numerous conflicts of interest. On Monday, December 12, trump announced he was postponing his news conference. His staff indicated that the delay was because trump is focusing on naming people to his administration. Apparently, he is incapable of doing more than a single thing at a time.   Meanwhile, in news that doesn’t matter… Christina and Tarek El Moussa have split after 7 years of marriage. Who are Christina and Tarek El Moussa? You might be asking yourself that as you read it.Read More →

Shortly after the election, president-elect donald trump decided he was no longer going to take part in his daily intelligence briefings. For those who may not already know, the daily intelligence briefings are designed to keep the president abreast of the constantly changing threats around the world. The world’s currently most famous daily intelligence briefing, or presidential daily brief (PDB for short) was issued in August, 2001, and was titled “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.” That briefing was famously ignored by the president with consequences some of us might remember. In light of history’s possibly most obvious lesson, it seems both alarming andRead More →

In a seeming effort to prove he is not beholden to or allied with or has ties to Russia, President-elect trump is reportedly poised to name as his pick for Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, CEO of ExxonMobil and recipient of Vladimir Putin’s Order of Friendship award. Meanwhile, in news that doesn’t matter but should… Patton Oswalt, comedian extraordinaire and, in a world where the voices of the allegedly sane and rational have become insane and irrational, one of the only reasonable voices speaking loud enough for all to hear, perfectly articulated what this Russian hacking scandal means for us. Read it here.   AndRead More →