December 2016

It all began with an innocent-enough tweet on Thursday, December 22. “The United States must greatly strengthen and expand its nuclear capability until such time as the world comes to its senses regarding nukes [sic]” It continued with Kellyanne Conway appearing on Rachel Maddow’s show Thursday evening to tell us all that president-elect trump didn’t mean that he wanted to increase the number of nuclear weapons, but he didn’t not want to increase them, either. Then, in typical trump fashion, he spent the next morning making his apologist look like a fool (calling Mr. Gingrich?) by telling Mika Brzezinski “Let it be an arms race”Read More →

“You’re not a wartime consigliere.” These famous words were spoken in The Godfather: Part II to Tom Hagen by Michael Corleone when Michael decides that Tom his not equipped to counsel him as the family prepares for war. Today, president-elect donald trump rewarded his campaign manager Kellyanne Conway by naming her his wartime consigliere counsel to the president. It leaves one wondering if Kellyanne is a wartime consigliere. Meanwhile, in news that should concern us all… Here’s what our incoming president tweeted today: “The United States must greatly strengthen and expand its nuclear capability until such time as the world comes to its senses regardingRead More →

On Monday, December 19, senate majority leader Mitch McConnell said of the Russian Hacking Scandal, “There’s no question that the Russians were messing around in our election.” On Tuesday, December 20, he decided there was no reason to investigate just how the Russians messed around in our election. Meanwhile, in news that doesn’t matter… There are rumors swirling that Drake and Jennifer Lopez are dating. Yeah, I didn’t care, either.Read More →

…in foreign lands. In Turkey, an 0ff-duty police officer shot and killed Andrey Karlov, the Russian ambassador to Turkey while speaking at an art exhibit in Ankara. The gunman shouted, “Do not forget Aleppo! Do not forget Syria!” Meanwhile, in Berlin, at least 12 people were killed when a large semi-truck drove into a crowd of shoppers at a Christmas market. And finally, donald trump secured his presidency when the electors met at all 5o sate capitals and officially voted him into office. Let the nightmare officially begin. Meanwhile, in news that doesn’t matter… The Internet openly wept as Rob Kardashian took to snapchat toRead More →

For the past 16 years or so, every time we get a new president, China tests them. With George W. Bush, it was by flying one of their fighters too close to one of our Navy aircraft, causing a collision, killing the Chinese pilot, and forcing the U.S. Navy to make an emergency landing in China in what has become known as the Hainan Island incident. The Navy personnel were captured by Chinese officials and held for 10 days until U.S. officials gave in to Chinese demands and apologized for colliding with the Chinese fighter jet (though officials later adamantly denied they ever apologized, andRead More →

Standing behind a green and red podium poster that read, “Merry Christmas, USA; Thank You Tour 2016”; president-elect donald trump told his fawning supporters that they were vicious and violent during the campaign, and they happily cheered to be told this, apparently forgetting that they were quite sanctimoniously outraged to have been characterized as violent during the campaign.   Meanwhile, in news that doesn’t matter… MTV has a show called Teen Mom OG, and it “stars” people in their 20s, and they are feuding. You didn’t care? Neither did anyone else.   You should also know… Trump supporters have their own, special dating site. YouRead More →

United States intelligence officials are fairly certain that the direction to hack DNC and Clinton campaign emails came from Vladimir Putin, himself. These experts stopped short of implicating him explicitly, and were clear to state that they did not have any direct evidence that he was involved. However, they claim, the sophistication of the tools used to undertake the operation indicated that there were only two possible entities in Russia that could have carried it out. President-elect trump and his supporters seem to be the only ones who think the entire story is both fake and silly. source: http://www.cnn.com/2016/12/15/politics/russian-hacking-vladimir-putin-donald-trump/index.html   Meanwhile, in news that doesn’t matter…Read More →

On Tuesday, December 13, president-elect trump’s Thank You Tour landed in Wisconsin. As trump stood on stage, forgetting that he wasn’t campaigning any longer, he eventually turned his attention to House Speaker Paul Ryan, who was standing just off-stage. During the campaign, Paul Ryan claimed that he would no longer support nor campaign for donald trump after audio tapes emerged in which trump bragged about sexually assaulting women and getting away with it because he’s famous. Paul Ryan was banking on trump losing, and hoping he could parlay his ethical stand into greater power should the GOP maintain the House of Representatives. But that’s notRead More →

“It’s three agencies of government when I get there that are gone – Commerce, Education and the um, what’s the third one there? Let’s see. Oh five – Commerce, Education and the um, um […].” This was the beginning of a quote that should have both haunted and ended Governor Rick Perry’s political career as he stood on a debate stage back in 2011 and failed to remember the third government agency he would eliminate as president. After some prodding by the moderator, Perry continued. “The third agency of government I would do away with – the education, the uh, the commerce and let’s see.” He thenRead More →

President-elect donald trump was scheduled to hold a press conference on Thursday, December 15, to discuss how he plans to handle his numerous conflicts of interest. On Monday, December 12, trump announced he was postponing his news conference. His staff indicated that the delay was because trump is focusing on naming people to his administration. Apparently, he is incapable of doing more than a single thing at a time.   Meanwhile, in news that doesn’t matter… Christina and Tarek El Moussa have split after 7 years of marriage. Who are Christina and Tarek El Moussa? You might be asking yourself that as you read it.Read More →