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  “No, no, no — no, don’t — please don’t put words in my mouth.  I never said I would provide you answers.” –Sean Spicer, in answer to a White House press corp member who had the gall to suggest that the job of the White House Press Secretary was to answer questions from the media.   “When you are given immunity, that means you have probably committed a crime!” -Mike Flynn to Chuck Todd on September 25, 2016, speaking of members of Hillary’s inner circle who were granted immunity regarding the ambiguous investigation she was never under.   Today, let’s just play catchup withRead More →

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    “I’m sick and tired of this White House as I was sick and tired of this campaign treating people less than whether they’re different because they’re black, whether they’re different because they crossed a border, or they’re different because they worship a different god, or their god is known by a different name…. I am tired of difference being disrespected and mistreated by this White House.” Those words came from Angela Rye today on CNN as she faced off against Joe Walsh, former Illinois congressperson and current massive dickhead who has demonstrated that he’ll pander to any group of right-wing misanthropes if itRead More →

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    “I didn’t hear a word she said. I was looking at the James Brown wig.” Bill O’Reilly said this in response to being asked what he thought of comments made by Congresswoman Maxine Waters on this morning’s edition of Fox & Friends. Maxine Waters is a black woman. O’Reilly faced an immediate backlash as accusations of racism racked up all morning long. Along with those accusations came the predictable defense of O’Reilly that, often, quizzically involved his defenders making blatantly racist comments in his defense. By the afternoon, Bill O’Reilly capitulated and apologized Maxine Waters, but followed up his apology almost immediately withRead More →

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  Everyone knows the Republicans bit the big one today when they failed to get enough votes to pass their Let Americans Die Penniless and Sick Bill and when trump subsequently ran as fast and as far away from his support of the repeal and replace campaign as he could in a single day—which isn’t very fast, or very far, considering how unhealthy, old, and obese he is, but it was vaguely comical to watch in the same way that watching your backup slowly step away from you as you get closer to danger is vaguely comical, so I’m not going to focus on that.Read More →

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  When Saturday Night Live debuted in 1975, they also premiered Weekend Update, their longest running skit. The first host of Weekend Update was Chevy Chase, a man so hated by the rest of the SNL cast that he was unwelcome on the show for years after leaving. Chevy Chase would begin his Weekend Update bit each week by saying, “I’m Chevy Chase…and you’re not.” Fast forward 41 years, and another TV star manages to piss off not just his TV costars, but also his international peers, and he ups the ante by telling a Time magazine interviewer, “I’m president…and you’re not.” One can onlyRead More →

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  Americans can be remarkably self-centered. We have a unique ability to be overly concerned about our own interests while showing absolutely no compassion for the interest of anyone else. Often, the only reason we give a damn about issues that affect others is when they just happen to coincide with our own interests. We also love to be lied to by politicians. We really, really love that. The past few years have illuminated this reality more glaringly than at possibly any other time in our history. During the 2016 campaign, donald trump catapulted to the GOP forefront when he told right-wing voters that Mexican immigrantsRead More →

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  We found out what could happen today when trump decided to live-tweet the House Intelligence Committee’s hearings. During testimony by FBI chief James Comey, the president’s twitter app hummed to life, and mysterious fingers attached to the president’s twitter account tweeted out this little nugget of bullshit. The NSA and FBI tell Congress that Russia did not influence electoral process. pic.twitter.com/d9HqkxYBt5 — President Trump (@POTUS) March 20, 2017   Someone paying attention to Twitter informed the members of the committee, and shortly afterwards, Jim Himes of Connecticut read the tweet in Congress to Director Comey and asked for his response. Comey said, “We’ve offeredRead More →

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    Tucker Carlson—the Fox News host most likely to win a contest that goes, “How many women did you date-rape in college?”—scored an interview with the so-called president that aired today, March 15. In the interview, Every Trust Fund Douchebag You’ve Ever Met asked donald trump about where he first learned that President Obama had tapped his wires. trump’s response was that he read about it six weeks earlier in a piece in The New York Times. Keep in mind that trump tweeted early that morning before sunrise that he had “just learned” about the tapping of his wires. Are we to believe thatRead More →

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  Every white supremacists’ favorite congressman, Representative Steve King, was at it again, yesterday, fresh on the heels of his tweet about saving our civilization from “somebody else’s babies.” Let’s spell out what he did this time. Jorge Ramos, an anchorperson on Univision, appeared on chronic frat-boy Tucker Carlson’s Fox News show. On Carlson’s show, Jorge Ramos told the host whose actual life appears based on the Pretty in Pink character Steff that by the year 2044, whites in America will be minority-majority—think South Africa circa Lethal Weapon 2. Tucker Carlson could not abide such an accusation, and went on to call Jorge Ramos whiter than himself. Fast forwardRead More →

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  Early morning, March 4, 2017: Terrible! Just found out that Obama had my "wires tapped" in Trump Tower just before the victory. Nothing found. This is McCarthyism! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 4, 2017 Then: Is it legal for a sitting President to be "wire tapping" a race for president prior to an election? Turned down by court earlier. A NEW LOW! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 4, 2017 Then: How low has President Obama gone to tapp my phones during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 4, 2017 Let’sRead More →