President-elect trump has decided that his favorite media weirdo will not be a part of his administration.

On December 9, Rudy Giuliani, formerly known as the former mayor who couldn’t go a minute without reminding everyone he was the mayor of New York City on 9/11, announced that he had removed himself from consideration for a trump administration post, immediately sparking speculation that a scandal is imminent.

President-elect trump, while making his statement, declined to remind everyone that Rudy Giuliani was the mayor of New York City on 9/11.



Meanwhile, This Matters…

Today in the trial of Dylan Roof, the racist charged with killing 9 churchgoers in Charleston, South Carolina, jurors watched Roof’s taped confession, in which he laughingly tells investigators, “I did it.”


Meanwhile, in News that Doesn’t Matter…

Kirk Douglas turned 100 years old. Actually, that might matter, because turning 100 is kind of cool. Happy Birthday, Kirk Douglas.