Horse-toothed alien reptile, Ann Coulter, trolled her adopted planet today when she tweeted out the following from her sunlit perch on Tail Gunner Joe McCarthy’s hellfire-heated headstone :

” I don’t believe Hurricane Harvey is God’s punishment for Houston electing a lesbian mayor. But that is more credible than “climate change.

A news cycle without Annie is like…..well that just won’t do, will it?


Fox’s 8-year-old host, Jesse Watters gleefully shared a few of the amazing sights from his Texas safari adventure this weekend; sitting on the carpet, blocking his daddy’s view of the family flat-screen.

“I’ve seen some amazing things out there just looking at television over the weekend.  Alligators on people’s back door steps.  I saw a shark on a highway swimming in the water … like Sharknado.   I saw a hawk sitting in someone’s taxi cab”

The same fake news photo-shopped shark from the last three urban floods.  Where you been Jesse?  Try to keep up, son!  Is that chocolate milk on your face?

Today he tweeted;

“Yesterday, I made a comment about a shark in the floodwaters in Texas. I sincerely apologize if I caused concern or alarm to anyone”

Of course Jesse. Your network doesn’t like to “alarm” people.

Mega-pastor Joel Osteen, following a weekend of unrelenting mega-grief from Twitter, and after checking his maintenance budget for the 16,000 seat sports arena that he uses as a mega-church ,  has decided to open its doors to shelter Houston flood victims. He is asking that they remove their wet shoes and socks at the door and please don’t sit on the upholstery.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Pastor.  And all this time I heard your name as “Joe Willostein.”  I stand corrected.

So who is this “Joe” fella I’ve been following on Twitter all this time?

Still ‘slobbering goo-faced-mean’ over the less-than-spectacular attendance at his Phoenix narcissist rave speech last week, ‘Emperor baby dumpling’ has fired his long time advance man for not upping the dosage of Adderal in the Kool-aid.  Apparently, if you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it do the backstroke, then you’re fired!

[update from Imbecile]   “I’d like to add to this list of lousiest hits: our emperor yellowhair traveling all the way to Austin Texas and upon seeing the throngs of Houston refugees looking for answers and desperate for help, remarking about the size of the crowd that showed up to cheer for him.”